Coctel de Nada

This is a concentrated version of Coctel de Cameron, without shrimp or avocado, for drinking as a beverage.

I have never tested this with alcohol, since I was a kid I always loved spiced bloody mary mix or tomato juice. This is a unique sour-salty-umami sipping beverage concentrate, not a drink per se. A gulp would not end well.

This is just a super weird strong flavorful sippy drink thing for me.
You drink it in tiny glasses, about an ounce at a time, baby sips.

1 bottle Clamato
Chug down about 3-4 ounces or so because we need to re-add liquids and things.

Everything is relative, "to taste". If you follow my lead, it's gonna be strong. My taste is likely not like yours, but who knows. :)

About 2-3 ounces fresh lime juice, 1 or 2 juicy limes
Teaspoon of celery salt
Half teaspoon black pepper
About 1/4 of a loud onion, chopping makes it louder
Handful of fresh diced cilantro, chopped stems good for this
Teaspoon of prepared horseradish
4 dashes Maggi seasoning (Wurtze)
About a tablespoon of Worcestershire, 4-5 strong dashes
Half tablespoon Frank's hot sauce, couple strong dashes
Being extra funky fresh, a couple dashes fish sauce
Soy sauce is an option

Now my key part:
About 2 ounces of my prepared beef bouillon liquid:
(1 can Campbell's beef consomme, 1 packet Lipton onion soup mix, onions sifted out, 1 tub Knorr gel beef bouillon. I keep a wine bottle of this in the fridge for cooking) Wing it. Add something strongly beefy bouilloney.

Mott's, the people that used to make Clamato and Beefamato, have changed the recipes drastically over the years. I don't think they even make Beefamato any more. The above bouillon liquid stuff gets us to the Beefamato level I want. The Clamato part is sad. It used to be made with clam juice, as any product that starts with the word Clam should. Since the 80's they stopped doing that and add some kind of dried clam stuff, that isn't funky, which misses the entire concept. That's why the extra fish sauce or a heavy hand with the Worcestershire and/or Maggi. I also have shrimp powder on hand, so half a teaspoon of that goes in.

It's no big secret that in any hispanic restaurant from North America clear down to northern South America, they make Coctel de Cameron (a beverage-ey shrimp cocktail with onions and avocado, a quasi-ceviche using yes, CLAMATO as the base. Clamato and ketchup. And oh so many limes.

Sip delicately, and enjoy. I enjoy this as a side to a beer. Another "not for everyone" recipe. If you like super sour lemonade, umami stuff like beef broth  and other strong flavors, you're a candidate. If you are from a land where and salt and pepper are overwhelming to you, you're not. Aaaand you're probably on the wrong blog ;)